I'm a Crabby Jerkface. Who the hell are you?

2009-05-07T12:50:00.001-04:00

The titles are tainted. Sigh.

2009-04-24T18:42:00.001-04:00

And so it begins again. Whatever side you're on you have to love these weekends. Go Sox!

2009-04-07T20:04:00.002-04:00

Yes! What a great day. And a win, too.

2009-04-06T17:21:00.002-04:00

Boo

2009-03-23T18:07:00.004-04:00

Thank you for helping us win two titles.

2009-03-12T12:32:00.001-04:00

Tell it, Pap! He does talk a lot and probably could shut up now and again but I still love the attitude. Perfect for a closer.

2009-03-09T13:46:00.003-04:00

The Cubs uniform looked weird. The Dodgers uniform looked weird. But for some reason, this looks even weirder than the last two. Here's to a healthy season, Nomar.

2009-03-05T18:40:00.002-05:00

The love fest continues. What a joke!

"I'm in a happy place, where I wanted to be. Actually, I won. I won getting out of there, because I'm in a great place. Sometimes it's better off to have a two-year deal in a place that you're going to be happy than have an eight-year deal in a place that you're going to suffer."

Bullshit, Manny. You would have come back to your unhappy place, Boston, if they offered you the ponderous 4-5 year deal you were looking to get. Too bad quitting on your team and the fans that blindly followed you ruined any chance of that!

2009-02-17T18:24:00.002-05:00

Well, that was a joke. And if A-Rod thinks it's over now, think again. This thing won't die easily, or at all. It will always linger. But you can't deny that he did what he had to do. Admit it (half-assed or not) and try to move on. Good luck.

2009-02-12T13:32:00.002-05:00

2009-02-07T12:50:00.003-05:00

I am surprised about this... but I shouldn't be anymore. I think it's only a matter of time before we hear of a Sox superstar who did steroids, HGH, or something... and that will crush me. I'm sad for baseball records and baseball in general. Nothing is sacred. Nothing is without question. There will always be asterisks. And all of it sucks!

But back to A-Roid... I mean, A-Rod. This upcoming season should be very interesting. How will he handle it? Will he crawl into a little hole and bat .250? Or will he use it as motivation and put up another MVP performance? Either way, you have to like more drama going on with the Yankees. I'm just going to hate it when it's in our clubhouse someday.

Pitchers and catchers report next week!

2005-09-07T09:51:00.000-04:00

The guy is ridiculous. I knew it. His teammates knew it. The Angels knew it. The entire ballpark knew it. Give him his cookie and some mango salsa and all is right in the world. Go Papi.

2005-08-01T22:28:00.000-04:00

Just another typical ridiculous day in Red Sox "nation" - come on, people! Yesterday was one of the best days ever at Fenway Park? Are you kidding me? It was a joke! All of a sudden we love Manny again? How quickly we forget what happened a few days ago. What happens every year with this guy. He flakes. He doesn't play hard. He sits out games. This is someone to cheer? You can like his production and you can say without it the Sox don't have a chance to repeat - and I'd say you are correct on both accounts - but to act like all is fabulous and cheery and fine just because he apparently WANTS to be here, end his career here, is ridiculous. This is a scam. Do you really believe Manny wants to stay? Do you really believe he loves Boston and there's no other place for him? Give me a break. This guy is gone in the off-season and our future is better for it. The young guys coming up should have better role models than a guy who only plays when he wants to, who doesn't run out balls, who quits on his teammates. All for $20 million. I'll take supposed malcontents like Nomar - who played hard every single play of every single game, who gave so much to this organization and city, which people love to forget - than flakes like Manny Ramirez, even if they're one of the best hitters in the game. Some things are more important.

2005-04-21T09:26:00.000-04:00

Oh, my sweet Nomar. The bad times continue. I hoped you would come back strong this year. Not just for two of my fantasy teams but so you could stick it to all the fans who apparently forgot the unbelievable 8 years you gave the Red Sox. Here's hoping the injury isn't that serious... although right now it sure doesn't look good. Sigh.

2005-04-03T09:55:00.000-04:00

A new season begins tonight. The greatest sport there is returns for another long season. Life is good again. And if the Sox don't win? Hey, it happens. I'm happy. No expectations this year. I'm just going to enjoy it. (I reserve the right to change my mind if they're 10 games out by June, of course.) See you Tuesday in the Bronx, boys! I'll be the girl wearing her Sox hat and shirt with pride. F the psycho fans.

2005-03-10T07:54:00.002-05:00

Crabbiness will take a back seat to some "Wooooooooooooooooooooohhhhh!!!!!" happenings over the weekend. It's Vegas, baby! Crabby plans on doing a little gambling and stuffing her face with all kinds of delicious food and drinks. And did I mention I'd be catching a NASCAR race, too? Bumping is racin' son! I'm money and I don't even know it. Just trying to have a good time over here.

2005-03-07T09:24:00.000-05:00

What kind of loser are you to get thrown out of a Spring Training game? Okay, okay... my boy Gator has been thrown out of Little League games, but if you're Sammy Sosa and you're trying to repair your image, what were you doing on Saturday? What a joke! All this does is prove yet again what a fraud he is, proves that the 1998 "I'm just happy to be here" Sosa was all for the cameras. He's all about corked bats and quitting on his team. You're over, Sammy.

2005-03-04T09:56:00.000-05:00

"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone."

- A. Bartlett Giamatti

And so the games began last night. Baseball is officially here. Life is good again. And after the glorious year of 2004, how can baseball - or the Red Sox - ever break my heart again? They might - oh come on, they WILL - but it will never take away the joy of those few weeks of October 2004. That joy will never go away.

2005-02-25T22:24:00.000-05:00

What's the big deal? I thought this was clever and funny. I mean, are they for real with this quote?

"All names have to be rated 'G'. We determined that Derek Jeter Center is an obscene and vulgar use of the English language in Boston."

I mean give me a break. It's a joke. It's for charity. It's for ONE DAY! We all need to relax. Maybe I'd think differently if we hadn't won the World Series but we did so let's get over it and allow creative ideas to be heard. Instead we just end up looking like donkeys. Again.

2005-02-15T09:34:00.000-05:00

Not much to be crabby about today. It's 50 degrees outside, spring training is almost here, same with NASCAR, and I'm enjoying an iced coffee. Life is good. Let Desiderata be your motto.

2005-02-14T10:08:00.000-05:00

Here we are on what could be the most silly "holiday" we celebrate. I don't dislike this holiday because I'm alone. I'm not one of those whiners. I keep my whining for more important things, like the useless color of pink. I dislike Valentine's because I think it's ridiculous that we need a day set aside to tell people that you love them. All day you'll have people doing all these "special" things for people, sending chocolate or roses, telling them how much they care, blah blah blah, I'd like to puke now. Of course tomorrow comes and they're back to being the asses they were before today - but hey, they told me (and showed me with chocolate!) that they loved me yesterday! What a joke. I'd rather be told or shown (in a real way) that I'm loved on March 14th or August 2 - or any other day of the year because that will actually mean something. So you won't see me asking anyone to "be mine" today or any of that crap. Instead, I'll choose to remember this day as the birthday of an old friend and an old dog, both who are no longer with us. And I'll continue to think of them beyond this day, too.

2005-02-11T11:21:00.000-05:00

Just a great post by the Surviving Grady boys today, just fabulous. I watched the ending of this game last night, too. And I still felt as excited as I did that night, if not more. The tears came again, the joy, the everything. I'd go back to those two weeks in a second!

2005-02-10T10:12:00.000-05:00

When one is crabby, there are so many ways to deal with it... screaming, smashing things, abusing people, drinking a lot. But if we're in a "treat our self and others well mood" I suggest other methods. Here are three.

Music
Who doesn't enjoy listening to a little Bell Biv Devoe mixed with ABBA and the Beauty and the Beast Soundtrack? You can find this delicious mix via an IPOD or the cheaper route - launchcast.com. When Hot for Teacher comes on, you'll thank me.

Movies
Looking to cry and laugh at the same time? Muriel's Wedding will do that. If you'd rather be freaked out and scared, try The Shining or The Silence of the Lambs. And let's not forget one of our musical choices - the classic and always enjoyable Beauty and the Beast. Just imagine Belle walking through the town in the beginning of the movie, singing her ass off. Sigh... if that doesn't make you feel better about life, what will?

Sports
Come on people, just pop in the Red Sox Championship DVD or any of the three Patriots Championship DVDs. Need I say more? Oh, I do? Okay, then we must also discuss the merits of NASCAR. Yes, this can turn even the crabbiest person's mood. That's just 'racin. And of course, we can never forget bowling. Who doesn't like imagining the pins are our most despised enemy?

So there you have it, three simple ways to overcome your crabbiness. Of course, you can just ignore trying to deal with it and just embrace your crabbiness. That has its own merits. Just shut your door at the office, turn off your phone and give people the "I will murder you" look when they try to talk to you. That always works for me.

2005-02-09T08:47:00.000-05:00

Pedro may show up early this year, may have a new "Mets" attitude, may throw like it's 1999, but believe me - it won't last. The honeymoon will end. And you'll see the same whiny, prima donna, 6-inning pitcher we saw the last couple of years. I give him a year.

2005-02-07T19:16:00.000-05:00

How can you be Crabby when you live in Title Town, USA?

2005-02-01T11:41:00.000-05:00

He just makes it so easy to dislike him. My favorite lines:

"This is still Jeter's team because he's the captain. But my approach is not to be everyone's best friend. My approach is to win championships. The only way to do that is to be myself, and to take care of my world. With my talent people will follow naturally."

"...a smart play, one I would've made again. In the heat of the moment, you do things sometimes out of instinct. I thought it was a smart play, and we almost got away with it. We put an umpire in the position of having to turn over a call like that in Yankee Stadium. It gave us a shot. (Umpire) Jim Joyce told me, 'if you'd knocked the crap out of (Arroyo) it would've been legal because he was in your way.' So if I had a chance to do it again, I would've tried to run him over. Even though I probably would've hurt someone with my weight and velocity, dropping my shoulder down."

A-Rod - you are such a friggin' joke!

2005-01-31T22:29:00.000-05:00

Things that make a Crabby girl cheery:

Patriots in the Super Bowl again.

NASCAR's 2005 season only a little more than two weeks away.

Just 39 days until NASCAR in Vegas, baby!

Pitchers and catchers only a few weeks away from reporting.

Yup, life is good.

2005-01-30T17:22:00.000-05:00

Does anyone else find this entire situation odd? Never before has a simple ball meant so much. A ball that might have only been in play for a few outs... all of a sudden, a huge deal. For me, I'll take the ball I got in pregame warmups before Game 4 of the ALCS... thrown from the arm of the greatest closer of all-time. Yes, one Mariano Rivera. And what happened after I got that ball? Rivera never closed another game, the Yankees never won another game, the Red Sox never lost another game. I'd glady get bloodied and beer-drenched again by a bunch of older guys to grab that ball and see all of that happen again.

2005-01-27T21:44:00.000-05:00

Now I have my share of crabbiness - after all, why would I name my website in such a way? But there has to be a point where you stop the whining and the bitching and realize things really aren't that bad. Delays on the orange line due to a medical emergency? Seriously people, would you rather be stuck on a bus for an hour or be dead? People suck. Stop yelling, stop complaining, and stop causing a stampede trying to get on the shuttle bus! Just deal with it. In the grand scheme of things? It's a minor inconvenience!

2005-01-24T23:21:00.000-05:00

Definition of crabbiness: waiting for a subway train in single-digit weather for over an hour, finally getting on a train only to be told 10 minutes later it's out of service, then finally getting on one for good only to listen to people yell and scream at each other to get out of the way.

Sigh. It's a crabby girl's dream. But as I've been saying to people all day - at least I'm not in a Tsunami. I'm not in a burning tower. All is well. Life goes on. Work can wait.

2005-01-22T13:18:00.000-05:00

I'd like to thank A-Rod for proving once again what a jackass he is soon after I post the greatest photo ever, captured on the cover of Faithful. And you gotta love the Dirtdogs for coming up with another classic photo of The Slap. The 2005 season can't start fast enough!

2005-01-21T22:55:00.000-05:00

I suppose if I renew my domain name for 5 more years, I should post to the site for once. So here you go, non-readers. The post that may or may not be the beginning of Crabby 2.0. My two cents for the day: read www.survivinggrady.com. Those guys make me wish I never stopped posting last season, make me wish I put my daily emotions about the Sox in writing. Great stuff, guys. Stewart O'Nan, on the other hand, is a fraud. How can you grow up a Pirates fan - and still root for them - yet also call yourself a diehard Sox fan? I'm sorry, I'm just not buying it. Stephen King is your diehard. Fun reading, though. And FABULOUS cover.

2004-06-21T00:03:00.000-04:00

The day has come. The day I never thought would. Crabby is 30. 30! Wow. I'm old. It's all downhill from here. Waah Waah. But seriously folks, all praise me. TODAY IS THE BEST DAY OF THE YEAR! Even if I'm 30. Whatever. So it goes. Let's drink some beer. YEAH!

2004-06-01T11:08:00.000-04:00

Today is a great day. Too bad I'm incredibly crabby. But, regardless, let's all take a moment to cheer the beginning of the best month all year... JUNE!

It has some of the longest days of the year and of course it has the BEST day of the year. June 21. First day of Summer. The longest day of the year. Summer Solstice. Yeah. The day rocks. And so does crabbiness. Long live crabby jerkfaces!

2004-05-17T09:47:00.000-04:00

I was hoping for the name "Orange" but hey, what can you do?

Weirdos!

2004-04-29T09:57:00.000-04:00

How dare this so-called Nanny bring shame to the good name of Dolores O'Riordan! My girl's alright! Her husband may be a donkey and her music may suck now that she's all happy and shit but she still rocks! Long live my sweet Baby D!

2004-04-26T14:24:00.000-04:00

It's still only April!

Yes, it's great to see the Red Sox take 6 of 7, it's fabulous to see Jeter fumbling so badly and get booed (I mean, I thought he was the best ever?), and it's always great to see teams that A-Rod plays for lose, and the teams he left win. It's just pretty damn exciting overall... but let's stay calm everyone. It's April. It's not October. The weather is getting warmer, not colder. Although these wins matter in the long run, they don't matter in October. In October the only thing that matters is 11. Eleven wins. Eleven wins and then the world ends. Sox win. But for now, let's just be happy, let's enjoy watching Yankee fans freak out, but overall, let's just remain calm. These are the Red Sox after all... "the best April team ever" as my good friend Hank likes to say. He's not wrong.

Go Sox!

2004-04-16T23:32:00.000-04:00

Arlight people, it's just one game. One friggin game. IN APRIL! Let's all relax, okay? And hey, let's talk about more important things, like me going to the game tomorrow...

Curt Schilling vs. Mike Mussina

Um... yeah. I LIKE THAT!!!

2004-04-16T13:33:00.000-04:00

One thing Crabby loves about working in the Copley Square area - you might get to see a celebrity or two! Today's sighting was Derek Lowe. No doubt he was off to enjoy some lunch at Atlantic Fish or Abe & Louies, where Nomar recently dined apparently! Sorry I missed that one. (><)

2004-04-12T22:44:00.000-04:00

Found this while cleaning over the weekend:

The beautiful field
with the great green grass
is obviously Fenway

-- Crabby Jerkface, 9th grade

Wow. I couldn't write then, and I still can't now!

2004-03-26T10:07:00.000-05:00

This is SWEET! Who wouldn't love to see this fabulous show? Long ago, my friend Todd and I were huge fans - listening to their 45s (haha) and buying all sorts of Wham gear. 'Twas a sad, sad day when we found out that the band, um... George and Andrew, broke up. Too many careless whispers from Georgie in bathrooms, I guess. Sigh.

2004-03-23T22:22:00.000-05:00

'Yall been wondering why I'm so in love with NASCAR. 'Yall just don't get it. Well, perhaps if you check out the fabulousness of IMAX, you'll finally understand!

That's racin'!

2004-03-19T11:16:00.000-05:00

I'd also like to note the new addition to my links section on your right: it's the Fabulous Devon! If you'd like to hear about weird stories or see pictures of cute monkeys, stop by her site. She has a lot to say!

2004-03-19T11:14:00.000-05:00

Don't worry, crabby's still here - and as crabby as ever! Not much to say except, shut up Ty, and the front cover of the Boston Herald today says it all about the Red Sox - something like, "Storm clouds ahead" or whatever it said. Crabby's got a bad feeling about this!

Other than that, long live March Madness!

2004-03-01T16:11:00.000-05:00

A happy crab!

What can make this possible? A trip to Florida on Thursday for some fun in the sun! Cheerful Jollyface will be in effect once again, thanks to my fabulous parents. We’re flying JetBlue (hello leather seats and DirectTV) and we’ll be enjoying a couple of spring training games as well as beach time! Don’t be too jealous people! It’ll still be nice here, 50s or so…

2004-02-27T15:40:00.000-05:00

Ridiculous! Here we go again. He calls that kind of money disrespectful? Then please oh please let me be disrespected! I'm sick of this crap.

2004-02-23T10:19:00.000-05:00

Let the drama begin!

NY Daily News

NY Post

2004-02-19T09:10:00.000-05:00

These rich donkey owners need to shut up already. Can we just play baseball?? No wonder the greatest sport there ever was is losing fans! Smarten up!

(><)

2004-02-16T11:19:00.000-05:00

Alright people, I've gotten over my initial shock, my initial queasiness. Sure, it would have been nice to have A-Rod and Magglio, but I'm just as happy to have Manny and Nomar. Oh, and let's not forget Schilling, Foulke and yes, Pokey Reese. Pitching and defense damnit, that's what's going to win it. Give me Curt, Keith and Pokey. I like my chances. A-Rod can sell his soul. How perfect that he's now going to be playing next to his "best" friend - another carefully crafted image of perfection. Just remember all the other ones before they were exposed to be the frauds that they are. I've never fallen for Jeter's perfect answers to every question - and I never fell for A-Rod's either. I wasn't sure how I was going to like that part of him in a Boston uniform. Now, I don't have to worry. Give me Nomar. Sign him up. At least he's real.

2004-02-14T17:32:00.000-05:00

Guess the A-Rod/Manny trade is officially dead. I'm sick to my stomach. Not even the excitement of the D-500 tomorrow helps. Who knew my hatred of the Yankees could increase?

2004-02-04T23:37:00.000-05:00

Lots of crap has gone on since my last post - seems like I have a lot to say... but the question is, do I want to say it? And most importantly, does anyone want to hear it?

BTW... 15 days until pitchers and catchers report!!! Hi Ellis!

2004-01-09T10:20:00.000-05:00

My Mom has informed me that the Special Olympics just picked up Dolores and towed her away to who knows what. Although I feel good about donating her to a worthy cause, I'm also upset knowing I'll never see her loveliness again. I'll never know if she was resold or just sold for parts. (HARSH!) She brought me 8 wonderful years. I can only hope Thom does the same. Sigh.

The crabbiness is gone. It's all sadness now...

2004-01-09T09:42:00.000-05:00

Another thing that makes me crabby:

Blowing snots out of my nose and coughing up phlegm 3 days in a row - which in turn will cause me to watch tomorrow night's Patriots Playoff game sans beer. Is there anything more unAmerican than that? Sigh.

2004-01-07T13:49:00.000-05:00

Some things that make me a Crabby Jerkface – in no particular order.

Being a Sox fan. Especially after events like Game 7.

Yankee fans. Obnoxious asses who don’t realize how good they have it.

Grumpy tollbooth collectors. Is it so hard to say thank you?

IBS. But happily, one salad a day seems to keep the runs away.

Body odor. If you have access to one, is it so hard to shower? At least every other day?

People who push you out of the way to get on the train. Oh, I’m sorry, you’re more important than me, go right ahead, push me out of the way. I don’t mind. Really. Classic line: “I need to get on this train.” Oh, and I don’t?

People who don’t wash their hands after going to the bathroom. You just wiped yourself, and now you’re going to open the door with those same hands? Friggin gross. I shouldn’t have to use paper towels to open the door.

People who flash their lights to try and get you out of the passing lane. Listen people, I’ll gladly move over if 80 MPH isn’t fast enough for you, but to be obnoxious and flash your lights because you’re apparently better than me? Sorry. You can go around me.

Traffic jams. I have a lot I could complain about on this topic (who doesn't?) but I’ll just say this: People, the one or two car length I leave ahead of me in a traffic jam is for ME. Not for you to sneak in and cause the lane to be slower. No, it’s so I don’t smash into the person in front of me when they brake for no reason.

People who actually SIT on you on the train. Okay, I have a larger ass than normal, so if I know I can’t fit, I stand. Please try that next time, people. This happened to me again just last week. And then yesterday I saw a poor old lady with a cane who was sat on by some bitchy woman who apparently decided to ignore the fact that there was no way she was going to fit and decided it was alright to squish and sit on the lady, causing her to bend at a ridiculous angle trying to get away from this person. Only after she made a painful grunt, did the bitchy woman realize the error of her ways. But did she correct it? No, she made a half-hearted attempt to move a little, causing me to think about giving up my seat to the lady before I, too, was squished by some donkey ass. Yeah, people suck alright.

That’s all I have for now, kids.

2004-01-05T15:21:00.000-05:00

It’s a new year, does anyone think I’ll be better about posting? Unlikely. Just not feeling the love for it lately. Not ready to post about the A-Rod biz either, because I’m not entirely convinced it’s over yet. In the meantime, feel free to send some Ask Crabby questions. Those might help, who knows.

Happy New Year, everyone!

2003-12-25T16:58:00.000-05:00

And let's not forget to welcome Olivia Marie Weng into the world - 7 lbs, 2 oz, 19 1/2 inches (I hope that's right). Congratulations, Tara and Drew! Tara, give her time, I'm sure she'll eventually look like you. You didn't do all that drugless work for nothing!

2003-12-25T10:50:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas, everyone!

This is the one day of the year - besides my birthday (um, the greatest day of the year) - that Crabby Jerkface is a Cheerful Jollyface!

P.S. F U Mr. Hicks.

2003-12-18T14:57:00.000-05:00

Forgive me my followers, for I have sinned and failed to post in almost a month. Be sure to be on the lookout for a brand-spanking new post once this A-Rod/Manny/Nomar biz is finished. I look forward to it being overwith - one way or another!

2003-11-29T00:37:00.000-05:00

Martinez, Schilling, Lowe, and Wakefield... ahhhhh....

... will Foulke and A-Rod soon join in on the fun?

I love you, Theo.

2003-11-09T00:10:00.000-05:00

Another question from The Notorious K.I.M.

Why do you name your vehicles? Doesn't that make you more attached to them?

Well, Notorious, I got the idea of naming Dolores 8 years ago when I first got her - from a college friend who also named her car. It seemed like a fun thing to do. It was as simple as that. Now, does it make you more attached to them? I don't think so. I think you become attached to your car no matter what - especially if you've had it for several years.

Thank you for your time, Notorious.

2003-11-08T11:40:00.000-05:00

More Ask Crabby questions are on the way later today, but for now, here's a good Pedro story. He's actually saying he'd be happy with less money? Can we believe it? We'll see!

2003-10-30T08:49:00.000-05:00

Real quick people, I'm all for getting rid of Manny - but for goodness sakes, GET SOMETHING IN RETURN!!

2003-10-29T11:32:00.000-05:00

Crabby’s been thinking about making this site more interactive, trying to get more peeps visiting, so it’s up to all of you to keep the posts coming. Ask me anything and I’ll try to answer it as honestly as I can. You can even ask me for advice. Call it an “Ask Crabby” section, if you will. First up is The Notorious K.I.M., perhaps my most loyal reader and poster. She asks the following:

If you were given the opportunity to be the GM of the Red Sox, what would you do? What moves would you make?
First thing I would do is keep Theo as my very special assistant. He won’t be there for his baseball knowledge or smarts, however, he’d just be waiting for me in the hot tub after each long and stressful day. Next move would be to re-sign soon-to-be-free agents Nomar, Tek, and Lowe to long-term contracts. Let’s re-up Ortiz and Damon while we’re at it, too. Manny I can do without, so if there’s anyway some stupid team wants to take his contract and also give us a #1 starter, we’ll trade him. The tough decision is on Pedro. When healthy, he’s the best pitcher in baseball. But he’s still only been a 6-7 inning pitcher. Is that worth $20 million a year? Don’t think so. I wouldn’t want to let him walk so I’d look for trade options, unless we’re in the playoff hunt again, then it’s anybody’s guess. In the free agent market, I’d make the move to sign Colon and Guerrero – even Pettitte. That dude comes up big in October.

What are your feelings about retiring Dolores?
Sigh. Words cannot express my sadness about retiring Dolores. She gave me 8 wonderful years. But it is truly her time. No AC, poor heat, a back door that doesn’t open, a hole in the floor which caused my feet to get soaked during rain, old school windows and locks, a broken seat, a messed up ceiling lining – I’d say she lived a full life. I am happy to be moving on but still sad about saying goodbye.

If you had a rock band, what would you name it?
How about Crabby Money – that puts 2 of my nicknames together in an odd way. Works for me.

There you have it, peeps! Who's next?

2003-10-28T15:57:00.000-05:00

It's interactive time peeps. I need to come up with a name for my new vehicle. It's a he. I'm already leaning toward "Thom" or maybe even some NASCAR name but I'd like to see what other ideas people may have.

Here's two pics of what a 1993 Ford Tempo looks like, mine's grey.

Pic 1
Pic 2

Send your ideas now!

2003-10-25T23:21:00.000-04:00

Well, I finally gave in and watched a World Series game tonight - because I love the game and because I wanted to see if the Marlins could win. They did, which is always excellent to see. Josh Beckett - one of my fantasy baseball boys for a couple of seasons now (that's right people, I had him before 'yall knew who he was!) - came up with a performance for the ages. A complete game shutout, are you kidding me Mr. 23-year-old? Yes, I still love baseball. Yes, I still love to see the Yankees lose. But I still can't bear to watch highlights of the Sox-Yankees series and I'm still having a hard time even watching the Marlins celebrate right now. I just can't help but wonder what might have been...

2003-10-23T12:39:00.000-04:00

This is pretty funny. Although I don't think he should be fired since that would cause an uproar in the clubhouse - and a happy clubhouse is a winning clubhouse. But then again, how can he return when Red Sox nation feels this way? It's ponderous, alright!

2003-10-22T10:12:00.000-04:00

The hero worship has returned. Yeah, he's the best ever. Give me an Fing break! When will we all admit that it was luck in the first place that put him in New York?! Put him in Detroit or Kansas City or some scrub town and no one cares. No one!

2003-10-21T16:27:00.000-04:00

The Sports Guy's mailbag. More tears, please. Thank you.

2003-10-20T15:30:00.000-04:00

More from the sports guy.

2003-10-19T20:19:00.001-04:00

Since I can't speak about it without getting filled with rage and tears, I'll let the Sports Guy take over for me. As always, he says it all.

2003-10-15T08:11:00.000-04:00

I still believe. Do you?

2003-10-11T23:29:00.000-04:00

All I have to say about Game 3 is that it was an embarrassing night for major league baseball.

Drive thru.

2003-10-07T20:37:00.000-04:00

More fun picks.

Cubs vs. Marlins
I love the Cubs pitching, I can't stand the cheating Sammy Sosa. But I'm rooting for the Cubs simply because they have the same type of history as the Sox - and have waited 10 extra years for a World Series Championship. Let's go Cubbies... Cubs in 6.

Sox vs. Yankees
Yeah, I can't pick this series. Guess I have no guts. I'm just hoping for a better showing than 1999. I will say this, though, I think we have a better chance this time around. And I love how this team just won't quit.

Go Sox! Go Cubs!

2003-10-07T00:45:00.000-04:00

What can anyone say but WOW? I'm too drained to say anything else. Just a few more reasons why baseball rules. Is there any other sport that can bring so much excitement? So much tension? So much nausea? Heh. I don't think so. I guess I was right with my "1999 Revisited" talk - you just have to believe, people. Let's just hope the similarities to '99 stop here. And now it's on to New York... Let's go Sox!

2003-10-05T01:00:00.000-04:00

Does anyone need more reasons to realize why baseball is THE best sport there is? Take this ending. Take this one.

We're talking about America's pastime! Football's got nothing on it. Basketball? 'Yall going to court. Hockey? No one cares. Baseball is where it's at, people! Never forget that. And here's to a Sunday afternoon at the ballpark with your Mommy. Mr. Burkett, you better show up... because if not, I may be pulling some Kims on you! Heh, just kidding. Kim's a donkey. And he's done with the Sox after that move. Goodbye Mr. DeerintheHeadlights.

2003-10-03T20:52:00.000-04:00

1999 Revisited?

"They better sweep us, because if we win one, they're in trouble." - Jimy Williams, October 1999, after the Sox went down 0-2 to the Cleveland Indians.

That was the fabulous battle cry Williams used four years ago to fire the Sox up. We all know how that series ended! Apparently, the 2003 version of the Red Sox want to do the same thing. Here's your chance boys. You certainly have more firepower than the 1999 squad, but can you come through? Can you "cowboy up," as you all love to say?

Here's hoping for a huge victory Saturday night... because thanks to my cousin Josh, I have tickets in transit to me at this very moment for Sunday's game! Joshie rules! I can only hope it won't be the third time I've seen the Sox go down in the playoffs to end a season (1995 ALDS, 1999 ALCS). I'd much rather see a repeat of that glorious time in October of 1999 when the Sox bats came alive and pennant fever once again gripped Red Sox Nation. Sigh. I love me those Sox... now get to work, boys!

2003-10-02T02:57:00.000-04:00

And that, my friends, is why Byung-Hyun Kim should never be put in a game that matters. I don't want to see him for the rest of the friggin playoffs.

But on the flip slide, as a baseball fan, you gotta love the way that one ended. Love the squeeze play. Just wish the Sox thought of it first. Of course, it also would have been nice if Manny didn't go 0-5 and leave 5 runners on base. I love being a Red Sox fan, oh yes, it's a joyous way to live.

Good night... um, I mean... good morning.

2003-10-01T21:08:00.000-04:00

Well, this story makes me feel better about the Nomar situation. Does it not, people?

2003-09-30T09:23:00.000-04:00

Okay everyone, let’s have some fun. Here are my picks for the first round of the postseason. First, let’s go with my head please.

Braves vs Cubs
They always say that good pitching beats good hitting every time… well, I’d give the Cubs the slight advantage here but the Braves offense is just too good. And they always seem to win one series before they choke. Braves in 5.

Giants vs. Marlins
The Marlins are the surprise team of the playoffs, with a lot of young dudes and one old manager. The Giants have Barry “It’s ridiculously obvious I do steroids” Bonds. And they have the “we’ve been here before” shit going for them. I just feel like the Marlins don’t have a chance. Giants in 3.

Yankees vs. Twins
All you’re hearing is how the Twins are the new “Rangers” to the Yankees – the team that just can’t beat them. Well, I guess I’m one of the people who believes this. However, just to be nice I’ll give them a game. Yankees in 4.

Red Sox vs. Athletics
It’s all about Pedro here. Game 1 is HUGE. Win that and I think we roll. Lose that and I think we’ll need another 1999 comeback, knowing Wakefield is going in Game 2 (which is a great move regardless). I never like making predictions with my boys but this is all in fun so I’ll say Sox in 5.

And now with my heart.
Cubs in 3.
Marlins in 3.
Twins in 3. Although I'd much rather beat the Yankees in an ALCS.
Red Sox in 3.

I mean, come on, who wouldn’t want a scenario like that??? Here’s wishing for a Cubs-Red Sox World Series. Although, I fear the world might end if that happens. I’ll gladly take the chance though… Go Sox!

2003-09-29T18:52:00.000-04:00

Congratulations to Hank for winning a case of Sam Adams Octoberfest! Nomar ended up with 28 homers this year. Not a bad number but certainly not good enough for me to win my case of Pumpkin. However, my dismantling of Hank in fantasy baseball decreased my payment to just a 12-pack - I am the Fantasy Master!

And what's with Nomar blowing off the last game of the year?? I realize it didn't mean anything but where's the outcry?? Permission or no permission - no double standards, people!

2003-09-28T10:48:00.000-04:00

Those Edwards boys sure know how to fish! Check out Colleen and Chad's boy Trey!

I am only 5 and can fish better than you

That is a junior state record - way to go, Trey!

2003-09-27T23:27:00.000-04:00

Ahh, Nomar... think you can hit at least 2 HRs in the season finale tomorrow so I don't have to give Hank any beer? I'll take a push at this point. But either way, 28 homers is still a good season. And off to the postseason we go.

And hey, at least I still beat his ass in fantasy baseball - where I remain THE CHAMP! Thank you, thank you. Now watch me go over-celebrate like the Sox did. Donkeys. Win something and THEN you can celebrate. And off to Oakland we go!

2003-09-25T23:11:00.000-04:00

Alright boys, congrats on the wildcard, but you haven't won a thing yet! Give me 11 wins in October!

Let's go Sox!

2003-09-25T00:17:00.000-04:00

Yeah. A reminder of my post on April 21, 2003:

"John Burkett sucks, everybody. Go somewhere else, dude."

Yeah, that's still in effect. After a crap day, all this crabby jerkface wanted was a little happiness, like a clincher, but what do we get instead? A 7-run first inning. Not going to cut it in the playoffs, people. Smarten up!

2003-09-18T09:17:00.000-04:00

Welcome little one!

Congratulations to Danielle and Patrick on the birth of their baby girl last night, Campbell Marie, who weighed in at 8lbs, 3oz, and 21 inches!

2003-09-14T22:22:00.000-04:00

My next NASCAR purchase? Make your vote(s)...

Idea 1

Idea 2

Idea 3

Idea 4

More to follow, no doubt. Other ideas are welcome, too. Yeah, I might be a redneck...

2003-09-03T08:38:00.000-04:00

Why do we care about sports so much? Money and donkeys continually get in the way. Crabby just wants to have a good time and crap like this keeps preventing me from having it!

Milloy:
Both parties are at fault here, but man, take the damn paycut Lawyer! You're already rich!

Manny:
Trade him please. Trade him now. We don't need attitudes like this on the team. I'll take my Muellers, Millars and Ortizs anyday.

2003-08-27T22:32:00.000-04:00

Sorry peeps, still haven't been in the posting mood lately. So instead, here's some random tidbits or thoughts:

1. Beer is good, oh yes, beer is good.

Mmmm... It's this time of year again.

You can become my new best friend if you buy me a case of that.

2. F U

Pedro Martinez needs to stop whining and enjoy his $17.5 million, which only people who save lives should receive. Not lucky bastards who can throw a baseball well. Love this fake quote of the week from the SportsPickle:

“I take offense when people imply that I’m injury prone and brittl … aw crap – my jaw just broke.” - Martinez

3. Yankees SUCK! Yankees SUCK! Oh wait, they don't suck...

Seeing the Sox play the Yankees this Friday at Fenway is awesome. Seeing them play the Yankees FOR FREE is even better. Hey, guess what fans, you can yell that stupid chant this weekend, the Yankees will actually be in town! Donkeys.

4. You might be a redneck if...

You stock up on all the NASCAR gear you can get your hands on. See me, see me and see me. And don't forget this and this.

That's racin'!

2003-08-11T21:10:00.000-04:00

Why is Friday going to be a great day?

Well, first of all, all work and no play make Crabby a dull girl will not be in effect. That's right kids, no work. The weekend actually starts Thursday night. Yeah. I can dig it. But let's get to the point, people, Friday is going to be great because of this:

I am the best band in the world

Sorry Dolores, but happiness is overrated - get back to your depressing self and maybe you can reclaim the #1 spot in Crabby's world. For now, I'll take Thom Yorke and his peeps.

Oh, you thought I'd be seeing them at Great Woods??? No thank you please. Try the fabulous city of Montreal. It just doesn't get any better than that, people! Hmmm... Mansfield or Montreal... Montreal or Mansfield. Um... yeah. No friggin contest!

Of course, what makes the entire trip worthwhile is the company you keep - Le Sweaterhead, Le SnotFace, Le FreshFor88, and Le Crabby will all be enjoying a fabulous time. And a special thanks to Mom and Pop Crabby for providing the transportation.

Remember people, jealousy is a terrible thing. Our love is God.

Or shall I say, Notre amour est Dieu.

2003-08-07T00:17:00.000-04:00

Okay, so, all I have to say is: "I rock!"

If you missed my previous post, let me refresh your memory. I gave you 3 facts. Let's discuss:

Fact #1: Nomar will hit #20 tonight.
Hmm... 5th inning bomb over the Monster. Thank you, Nomar. Just 11 more to go until I win my 12-pack.

Fact #2: Pedro will finally win a game.
Um... yeah. Win a game? How about complete a game! 11 Ks. 96 mph heaters in the 9th inning. Thank you please.

Fact #3: I will have some beers.
Three to be exact. Some delicious Black Rider Lager from Beerworks. Too bad it's more like a stout or porter. Not that this kid was complaining.

And, oh yeah, one other thing. Before the first pitch was thrown, I said to my friend, "I want to see something special tonight." It's a fact that I did. Thank you, Pedro. Thank you, Nomar. And, thankYOU Mr. Johnny Damon (who made perhaps the best catch I have ever seen in person) - you all helped me remember how great baseball can be. Now, don't F it up!

2003-08-06T15:46:00.000-04:00

Heading to my first game of the year tonight, people! It's been quite some time since I've seen a live game. And for free, too! Anyhoo, the following facts are true:

Nomar will hit #20 tonight.
Pedro will finally win a game.
I will have some beers.

Drive thru, everyone!

2003-08-04T20:53:00.000-04:00

Thought for the day

Mudslides, beer, wine, lobsta, steamers and overbuttered corn on the cob don't mix. Unless you like brushing your teeth with a mixture of toothpaste and puke chunks.

2003-08-04T00:15:00.000-04:00

"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." - G. Randolf

"True friends are the people that are there for you unconditionally. They are the people that never question you and support you no matter what the circumstances are. They are the people worth living for." - unknown

2003-07-31T00:14:00.000-04:00

Back to Maine again this weekend. Maybe by the time I get back I'll have rediscovered my interest in blogging. For now, my girl Helen's got it right:

To me a lush carpet of pine needles or spongy grass is more welcome than the most luxurious Persian rug. - Helen Keller

2003-07-20T22:46:00.000-04:00

Life is good.

Life is a cottage.
Life is a lake.
Life is a beer.
Life is a lobsta.
Life is a technology-free existence.
Life is reading a book.
Life is taking a walk.
Life is playing ping pong.
Life is sitting on your ass.
Life is Maine.

And that's where I'll be this week. Drive thru, everyone!

2003-07-18T23:49:00.000-04:00

Check out Crabby's new link - funny stuff yo

Strong Bad Rules

2003-07-16T23:28:00.000-04:00

Phew!

Don't melt, Armando!

2003-07-16T22:41:00.000-04:00

The rich get richer

Is there anything more asinine and ridiculous then "goody" bags given out at awards ceremonies? Like these celebrities need handouts! Even the ESPYs are giving out goody bags - The ESPYs for goodness sakes! $20,000 worth! What the hell?? Most of those people earn that much in 5 minutes! What a friggin joke. Give the fans the goody bags - we're the suckers who are paying your salaries, seeing your crappy movies, and worshipping your loser selves. It's just not right - the rich get richer, the poor get poorer. What a country. It sickens this Crabby Jerkface.

2003-07-15T23:38:00.000-04:00

Congrats to the Yankees! They now have home field advantage in the upcoming World Series!

"I wanna be a part of it... New York... New York!"

Right.

2003-07-10T21:55:00.000-04:00

Oh my god. No, not you God, but the figurative god. Right.

So, I'm surfing the web, just minding my own cyberspace business, and what do I come across? Quite possibly the most disturbing, yet hilarious, story I've seen in a while. How can it be both disturbing and hilarious? Well, take a look for yourself:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/susansmithad1.html

Um... let me first make it known that I loathe this woman. Yeah. Drowning your two kids, blaming it on a black person that didn't exist, and then parading yourself all over the airwaves as a suffering young mother who just wants her kids to come home, and please, whoever has them, won't you please return them to me? Yeah, that lady. A real winner. Mother of the year.

So, I guess being in jail for life is kind of lonely. I mean, who can blame this "Christian" for wanting a penpal? Heck, she's "sensitive, caring, and kind-hearted!" And, let's not forget that she loves "rainbows... the beach, the mountains, and waterfalls," - all interests that come in handy when you're in a 4x6 jail cell. What an online catch! And I must say, it's such a relief to hear that "I have grown and matured a lot since my incarceration, but I will always hurt for the pain I've caused so many, especially my children." Yeah, especially your children. Don't worry, Susan, they're not in pain anymore. You certainly saw to that. So, what do you do to help that "hurt" you feel? Find a man, of course! I mean, that was apparently one of the reasons you decided to kill your boys in the first place, so you could be closer to a man, so why not now, too? Maybe he'll like Mickey Mouse, just like you! Hey, Susan, it's worth a shot. Life in prison is a long time. Although I guess you should have thought of that before you drove your boys into the lake?

Hey, I wonder if Andrea Yates has a personal ad, too?