This Crabby Jerkface is here to report that she is far from crabby today and is actually quite a Cheerful JollyFace. How can this be, you ask? Look at your calendars, people! The best day of the year is almost upon us! June 21st! Why is it the best, you ask? Simple! It's the longest day of the year, the first day of summer, and of course, the reason it rocks as much as it does is because it's... Prince William's birthday! This year he turns 21! Twenty-one on the 21st. I've never seen that before. What a day!

But let's be serious, people. This day was the best day of the year long before the sexy Prince William was born 21 years ago, because 8 years before that, the crabbiest person in the world traveled that long and disgusting journey thru the goo and blood of the birth canal, and into the arms of some silly doctor who asked my mother, "Isn't she beautiful?" when everyone else in the room could see the truth with their own frightened eyes. I can't blame my Mom for replying with disgust, "Hell no!" Because you see, people, I was a gross blue baby. I decided to get myself all tangled up in my gooey umbilical cord so I couldn't breathe. I don't know if that's where the crabbiness started, or even where the OCD started, but somehow I made it through... and the world has been suffering ever since!

Crabbiness forever!